Threads of presence and absence
When you pledge to attend (anything), it seems like a very simple act, but spider-like you create an invisible thread that binds you, the promisor, with the promisee, in a dance of expectation and disappointment.
The impact of breaking this thread is tangible.
This happened today. The expectation of a much-anticipated meeting at the start of the day made the absence of a crucial participant all the more noticeable. This waiting turned into a silent conversation between those of us who were there, and the person who was supposed to be there, but never showed up, without any forewarning. Not only did the participant’s absence at the prearranged time violate social decorum, but it also interfered with our shared temporal intersection. This delay brought attention to how crucial it is to synchronize our personal time with that of others, respecting the finite nature of time that we all possess.
As the day progressed, the pattern of absence continued with two expected guests canceling their trip to volunteer at our project, thereby missing the specially prepared dinner and gathering, and taking up the time of those tasked with preparing beds and clearing up. These last-minute cancellations felt like breaches of the social contract we had implicitly entered into by agreeing to accept them as guests in the first place; they had made the initial…
